


When I'm With You, I Can Allow Myself to Feel

by bipabrena



Series: The Book of HisoIllu [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, These two monsters love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:40:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipabrena/pseuds/bipabrena
Summary: They’re both irredeemable, murderous lunatics. They don’t care who they hurt or how. They’re despicable, and one could argue they don’t have a heart. They’re incapable of love and care.But when they’re together, somehow everything changes.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Series: The Book of HisoIllu [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964734
Comments: 17
Kudos: 227
Collections: Amazing HxH Fics💕





	When I'm With You, I Can Allow Myself to Feel

His parted lips stroked him, making him shudder. He welcomed him inside his mouth; warm and damp, and incredibly precise.

“Ah… Illu… ♥” Hisoka muttered huskily. He closed his fingers in his hair, then opened them until he touched his nape.

Illumi bathed the head with affections. His tongue was so deft and willing, and he held the balls in his hand before pushing the shaft further into his mouth. His low purr of satisfaction vibrated in Hisoka’s flesh, causing him to hiss in pleasure. He gently rubbed the sac with the palm of his hand, while urging the head and shaft with his tongue. His lips moved like a piston at half-throttle, slowly pushing down. Slowly, but surely welcoming Hisoka’s dick deeper into his mouth.

It was in these intimate moments that Hisoka was forced to contemplate. The people he’d met, the highlights of his life.

Everything revolved around seeking the strongest fighter, all in the name of proving himself to be the best, the strongest, the most skilful.

To break those who possessed tremendous strength brought him great pleasure.

But in the special moments where he had this raven-haired beauty between his legs, in his arms, beneath his body or on top of him, it was then Hisoka curiously recognised that it was only with this young assassin that he was truly happy.

Not because of sexual intimacy, either.

Having drinks, watching films, or simply revelling in silence the sight of the shimmering city on top of a building. Regardless of what it was, when he was with Illumi, he was completely sure he could allow himself to **_feel_**.

To be what he never was, what he’d never been.

Human.

Hisoka sighed in delight as Illumi pushed further and further, until he fully took him into his delicate mouth. His tongue slid up and around the shaft, and the stiff ring in his throat closed around the head.

Illumi was rewarded with abundant beads of precum that he happily sucked in.

A groan convulsed in Hisoka’s larynx, and his fingers clenched over Illumi’s silken hair. Suddenly, the raven-haired beauty was diving back and forth, entertaining, delighting Hisoka with a series of firm, flowing strokes. The redhead couldn’t stop himself from thrusting hard into Illumi’s mouth. His cock plunged further until it touched the back of his throat, but Illumi expertly controlled his reflex, keeping every single inch inside without a single gag.

“Ah, Illu… you’re good, you’re so good… ♥”

Illumi glided his soft, deceivingly delicate hands over Hisoka’s thighs. He enjoyed how firm they were.

Once he was close to coming, Hisoka, without a word, gently laid his hands on Illumi’s face, and he pulled him up, ending the warm, damp pleasure on his cock.

Hisoka’s golden eyes gazed at Illumi’s face tenderly.

“Beautiful…” he sighed. “So beautiful.”

Illumi blinked.

Hisoka closed the distance between himself and Illumi. Their soft lips touched, and Illumi slid his tongue inside Hisoka’s mouth. They exchanged Hisoka’s taste, and Hisoka moaned into Illumi’s mouth.

Illumi’s hands touched his chest, his stomach, his cock. His hands delighted Hisoka with delicate affections.

Then, Hisoka gently moved him up onto the bed, and Illumi’s heart thumped when he felt the weight of Hisoka’s body on top of him.

The redhead moved his lips to Illumi’s neck, while his hand moved to his dick. He wrapped his fingers around it, twisting it slowly as his thumb played with the tip, spreading the pre-cum.

With a sigh of delight, Illumi closed his fingers around Hisoka’s hair.

The redhead kissed and licked his neck, his chest, then lowered himself, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses on every indent of Illumi’s firm muscles.

He brought his mouth to his cock, and licked from base to tip, slowly. He licked the head and revelled its taste as he looked up, gazing at Illumi square in the eye.

Illumi bit his lip. He felt shy from the strong eye contact.

Finally, Hisoka lowered his head and took him fully into his mouth, and Illumi rewarded him with a small sound of pleasure. He began to move faster, and after a few seconds of growing ecstasy, Hisoka raised his right hand and brought it to Illumi’s stomach.

Illumi understood this was Hisoka’s way of asking for connection, for further intimacy.

He held his hand, accepting his request by squeezing it.

Hisoka moaned in pleasure. He’d always been open sexually. He’d never been opposed to having men roll over for him, but what he never considered was rolling over for a man, or doing something as, in his opinion, submissive as sucking dick.

In his eyes, it took control away from him. And due to the nature of his personality, he didn’t like that.

But when it was with Illumi, it felt right.

He liked doing it.

He loved the feeling of Illumi’s cock filling his mouth, feeling him quiver between his lips as he came in him. It was a special little treat, simply because it was Illumi.

On the other hand, Illumi never found that such a thing took control away from him. Quite the opposite.

In his eyes, the mouth was the centre of intimacy. Going down on a man was akin to kissing him in his most special place. It felt very intimate, so personal, and so passionate. He could be slow and take his time, he could make eye contact as his hair was gently held.

It could be a very intimate experience. It was this perspective what changed Hisoka’s view on the matter.

It also went without saying Illumi merely felt this way since he began doing this with Hisoka. He’d never been sexually active, it wasn’t a necessity because of his job. But that changed with Hisoka, and he’d been learning ever since.

Their trysts began as something rough and primal, something delicious but violent.

Not anymore.

When Illumi’s belly began heaving in soft pants, Hisoka knew he was close. He moved up and kissed Illumi, then paused to lubricate him properly.

He hooked his arm behind Illumi’s leg, and he moved up so their faces could meet. He was holding him wide open, and his other, more daring hand travelled to a far more intimate place.

With a sharp inhale, he leaned down to give Illumi a slow, searing kiss.

Then, he pulled back to watch Illumi’s face. Their eyes met, and they gazed at each other in a stupor as they held each other close.

Hisoka’s daring finger slid between his ass, until it found a sweet, puckering hole. He teased the opening in circles. He teased and teased, then nudged, until that daring finger popped through.

A tiny tremble flooded through Illumi. He melted into Hisoka’s body, pressing placidly against him.

Hisoka moved down from Illumi’s lips to taste his throat, his tongue tracing a path down until he found his pecs. He sucked each, paying generous and equal attention to his nipples, swirling his tongue and gently sucking as he continued working him below.

Illumi sighed softly, gently grabbing fistfuls of his soft hair.

Hisoka pulled his finger out, then slid it back in again along with a new one. The pressure increased when the two fingers breached inside, and Illumi gasped in delight when Hisoka gently worked his way, until he curled his fingers.

His cock throbbed when Illumi began a series of soft mewls. Illumi curled his toes, and he moved his hands down to Hisoka’s back, where his nails dug into the skin.

Illumi’s breathing was ragged, and he looked down to watch the way Hisoka’s glistening fingers thrust into him, how they kept appearing and disappearing as they pushed in and out of him.

Hisoka panted as he watched Illumi’s face in a daze. His fingers fucked him with vigour, and even though he wasn’t being touched, he felt he could come on the spot.

The man beneath him was too much.

Illumi’s pale complexion shimmered under the moonlight. His cheeks were flushed, his lips parted, and his eyes were half-lidded in the most freeing of pleasures.

“… Oh…” Hisoka moaned, “I love that expression! ♥” his eyes narrowed as a long smile stretched on his face.

Then, Illumi kissed him hard.

Hisoka pulled back and moved down to finish what he’d started.

His fingers remained inside, and his lips pursed around Illumi’s dick. He opened wide and dove down, savouring the taste as his skilful fingers continued fucking his ass. Illumi began writhing beneath Hisoka, and Hisoka had to place a hand on his belly to stop him from moving.

He lifted his head and lovingly licked the head before descending once again. He built up a fast pace, and both fingers were fully inside. He curled them, and felt that sweet bump that had Illumi reflexively kicking his leg up.

He closed his fingers around Hisoka’s hair, and he hissed in pleasure.

Sensing he was close, Hisoka timed himself just right. He decreased the bliss in Illumi’s dick, while increasing the pressure in his ass. His fingers moved rapidly and with precision, and when Illumi cried, Hisoka mouth began to move steadily again. Illumi gasped, and two, three, four more thrusts of Hisoka’s hot, wet mouth was what it took for him to reach his peak. He came hard, so hard, emptying his seed inside Hisoka’s mouth in spurs. At the same time, his walls clamped hard against Hisoka’s fingers. Illumi writhed beneath him. His legs shook, and his knuckles turned white from how tightly he gripped the sheets.

His overstimulated body shuddered, and he panted heavily. When his climax receded completely, Hisoka pulled back. He watched Illumi, and his throat bobbed as he finished swallowing. A trickle of cum ran down his parted lips. Then, he moved up to kiss Illumi.

Illumi licked the trail running down his lip, then slid his tongue inside Hisoka as they exchanged Illumi’s taste. He held Hisoka close. He simply held him for a few seconds.

Eager for his own release, Hisoka pulled back from the hug.

He held his throbbing dick and guided it to Illumi’s overwhelmed ass. He nudged the opening, and once more stretched the tight passage. Hisoka hissed in pleasure, relieved to finally reward his cock with some much needed attention. Illumi arched his back with every inch that flowed inside him. His nails dug into Hisoka’s shoulders.

Having that dick inside him was incomparable to anything else.

They both sighed as their bodies were finally joined fully.

Hisoka reached down to touch Illumi’s chest. His strong but gentle hand ran down his body, touching his most erogenous areas. It triggered the movement of Illumi’s hips.

His arms went up, threading in Hisoka’s hair, holding him close as Hisoka found a steady pace. A hard thrust made Illumi hiss, and he wrapped his legs around Hisoka’s waist. He squeezed and brought him close. 

Hands explored curves and muscles as their breathing deepened. Hisoka panted and growled as he fucked Illumi with increasing vigour. He cupped his waist, and moved Illumi with him as he mercilessly jammed into him.

“Fuck,” he cursed, and his voice juddered under the power of his thrusts. Soon, the room was overcome with the sound of the creaking bed, and Hisoka’s balls smacking against Illumi’s ass.

He pulled out completely. Then, in one hard, savage thrust, he plunged his cock inside him—every single inch, until the balls intimately touched the crease of his ass.

He tightened the hold on Illumi’s waist, and held him up until he was folded. He looked down at the way his cock disappeared into him as they both panted heavily. Illumi cried out, and those little sounds were what it took for Hisoka to turn into a primal beast that’d completely given in to pleasure.

“Look at you… ah, just look at you, Illu! That expression, those little sounds you’re making… you’re magnificent! ♥” he cried out in sheer delight. “You’re so close again, I can feel it. Come for me, come for me,” he pressed their foreheads together.

“Shit, Hisoka… ugh!” Illumi cursed, and he reflexively drew his claws. They dug into Hisoka’s back, and Hisoka hissed when they drew blood.

Hisoka moved to Illumi’s neck. He kissed and sucked at the skin, then bit hard until he drew blood of his own. Illumi hissed. Then, Hisoka licked the wound. “Mine,” he claimed with a growl.

Illumi panted hard, thrashing back and forward with each savage motion, gripping into Hisoka tightly. He was barely aware of his surroundings as Hisoka soared him into orgasm a second time.

Hisoka kept his relentless pace, until Illumi was shaking and trembling, whimpering incoherently.

“Illu, call my name,” Hisoka pleaded, pressing his forehead to Illumi’s. “Call my name.”

Illumi barely processed these words. He merely continued writhing.

Hisoka slowed down the pace, and Illumi frantically moved his hips to regain the lost friction, but Hisoka held him in place with a strong hand on his hip.

“Call my name, Illumi…” Hisoka nuzzled him, “praise me.”

Illumi groaned in annoyance, though he allowed himself to be nuzzled.

“I want to hear that sweet voice. Praise me. ♥”

He slid out of Illumi’s ass.

Illumi held his breath, and Hisoka continued nuzzling him.

“… Hisoka… please.”

“Please what? ♥”

“I can’t come without you.”

“Oh...? Why is that? ♥” Hisoka grinned against Illumi’s ear. Illumi could feel that shit-eating grin from his voice alone.

“Because you’re so good,” Illumi said, and Hisoka cried out in delight. “Hisoka… Hisoka. You’re so good.”

“… Oh …” Hisoka shuddered in his arms, and Illumi liked that.

Illumi sucked in a breath when Hisoka, unexpectedly, jammed himself hard into Illumi.

“Yes… Your Majesty. ♥” Hisoka grinned against his ear.

The thrusts were rapid and merciless once more. He watched Illumi, that expression of sheer pleasure as he moved harder, and he felt Illumi arch beneath him.

Hisoka lost the sliver of reason he had left. He grabbed Illumi by the throat, and he squeezed. He pounded him hard, and throttled him into dizziness. Illumi moaned and moved as though he were in a foreign, orgasmic plane.

“Ugh… fuck, Hisoka!”

His masculine, almost animalistic groans perfectly contrasted Illumi’s delicate ones.

His hands tightly gripped his throat and hip, and his teeth took the flushed flesh of his neck. He nipped before he took it into his mouth and suckled hard. Then, he moved up to kiss Illumi, and to not miss a single second of his magnificent expression.

Then, Illumi gasped hard.

His body bucked as it juddered in a deep, primal orgasm. The cry that wrenched from his throat seemed to have come from deep within his soul. He held Hisoka close, so close, and his blissful reaction only served to amplify Hisoka’s own pleasure.

Hisoka moaned, he moaned, and Illumi loved that.

Illumi’s walls clasped his dick, sucking him deep, holding it tight. Hisoka didn’t stop ramming even when the tender flesh contracted violently. It only made him fuck Illumi harder and faster, so hard, so hard that it hurt, it hurt, but it hurt deliciously, and it felt so good to the writhing, raven-haired beauty beneath him.

Every muscle tensed. It was as though his soul had been momentarily squeezed out of his body. Hot tremors paralysed him as his cock shot its load deep inside Illumi. He cried out in sheer delight. His temples pounded with wondrous ache, and Illumi was in awe by the expression of irrevocable pleasure on Hisoka’s face.

The fiery liquid pooled in Illumi’s canal.

The thrusts gradually lessened in pace, until they completely stopped.

“Oh, fuck… ♥!” Hisoka’s voice broke.

His body shuddered, and he collapsed on Illumi. Illumi held him close, and he was pleased with the way Hisoka trembled in his arms.

He ran his fingers through that soft bed of red hair.

Hisoka’s pants lessened as his breathing stabilised. He enjoyed Illumi’s affections, and his half-lidded, droopy eyes were tempted to close completely. He jolted when Illumi’s fingertips stroked his back. His body was still stimulated.

“I can’t move my legs,” Illumi announced suddenly after some long silence.

Hisoka pulled back to look at him. He looked at the sincere assassin with curiosity. Illumi’s voice had been so monotone, so aloof and casual, and his expression wasn’t any different.

Hisoka’s shoulders shook as he laughed heartily. Illumi’s innocent, stupid honesty was one of the things he enjoyed most.

“I wonder why… ♥” his grin nearly stretched to his ears.

His grin reverted to a smile, but he watched Illumi with bliss. Illumi blinked at him, bearing the impassive expression he always had. Then, he kissed Hisoka’s cheek, and Hisoka’s eyes widened.

“… Oh? ♥” he touched his cheek with care, as though it were a sacred spot.

“I’d like to sleep now,” Illumi said. “It’s been a long few weeks.”

“Has it, now? How long has it been since you last slept?” Hisoka asked, rolling off Illumi’s body to lay by his side.

“Three weeks,” Illumi sighed. “This was a long contract indeed.”

“Oh… a pity. You know I love idle chat after snuggling. ♥”

“I want breakfast in the morning,” Illumi announced. “Pancakes, eggs and bacon. Hot chocolate, as well,” he pulled up the blankets to cover the two of them.

Hisoka scurried closer to him. He hummed with that lopsided smile that Illumi found precious. “Okay,” he agreed.

He held Illumi in his arms.

“I live to serve.”

Illumi playfully punched his cheek, turning his head to the side. Hisoka’s smile stretched even longer.

Then, he closed his eyes and dozed off.

As usual, Hisoka watched him. He waited for him to fall asleep before he dozed off himself. He never knew why he did it, he just did.

“Illumi,” he muttered under his breath.

Yes, Illumi. He loved that name.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave kudos and/or a comment if you did, support means so much to me! Bookmarks are always lovingly appreciated, too.
> 
> Feel free to leave any criticism. Smut is a very weak point of mine, so I'm always looking to improve. 
> 
> I want to write a lot for this wonderful ship, so if you're interested in sending prompts for me to write, or make requests, here's my [Tumblr](https://bipabrena.tumblr.com/ask) and [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/AMorteToMal)


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